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Yup, it's those BIG BROTHER option packages . . . (archive)

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Posted by Ausgang on October 19, 1999 at 15:02:05:

In Reply to: Re: ~~~ENGINE SOUND CHANGE AFTER 4K MILES~~~ posted by Scott on October 19, 1999 at 02:35:49:

. . . They're watching us -- from behind the Nav Option too. It's all part of the free Big Bro' option, which includes ---

1) Automatic retarding of spark when you wear a new pair of shoes for the first time,
2) A 'junk food detector' that activates your 'check engine' light for a week or so,
3) A 'cheating' monitor that makes the moonroof switch act up in sync with the cycle of the person you should be with,
4) A 'career-path guidance system' that causes front wheel vibration at a speed equal to what your age will be when you get your next raise at your current job,
5) An integrated cell phone system that transcribes all of your conversations for downloading from the OBDII in case you say anything Clinton supporters can hold against you,(hence, the use of analog.)
6) An 'anti-luddite'system that makes your driver's window squeek when you open it to pay tolls. (This is to punish you for being too untrusting to give your credit card info to EZPass so you can pay tolls electronically,)
7) A 'service indicator' that gives the precise mileage remaining until the synthetic motor oil in your car is the right consistency for making 4F black gunpowder.

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