To begin with I use Griot's Garage products. Yes, they are expensive, but the stuff I bought 5 years ago, I'm still using today. They last a long time. There are other extensive product lines that are also good like Meguiar's, Zaino (sp?) that I've heard good things about on this board.

For washing, its pretty simple. Wash the car in the shade. Use one wash mitt for the body of the car and a different wash mitt (I use my older worn out wash mitts and just rotate them through) for the wheels. Brake dust is murder on your paint so try to avoid getting it in your wash mitt that you use on the paint. I use an imitation chamois to dry the car, and again, avoid using that on the wheels as well since there will always be some residual brake dust on them. When done, I use a details spray over the entire car to get any missed spots, plus it gives the paint a nice shine and removes any waterspots that you may have missed. This is also a good time to clean the doorjambs, etc.

Before you wax, you must clean the paint, and I don't mean just wash the car. Use a clay bar and go over all of the painted surface. Use a detail spray to lubricate the clay bar as you go. Several vendors now make these clay bar products. It's amazing how much dirt is trapped in your paint even right after you have just washed it. If you skip this step, you will just lock in that residual dirt or scratch the paint with it while you do the next steps.

Next step is polishing. If you're getting lazy at the point, you can use a combination cleaner/wax or polish/wax (I know Meguiar's has a good one that my dad uses) but for best results (especially on black) you want to use separate products for polishing and waxing. You can apply these products my hand or with a machine. I've used the hand versions and had good results, it just takes a lot more elbow grease. As you're buffing the polish and waxes off, just be sure to use 100% cotton towels and rotate them frequently as you go. I probably use 2-3 towels for polishing and 2-3 towels for waxing. It's more laundry but it makes the job go much faster if you use more towels. The polishing step will get rid of the swirl marks. If they are really bad, you may want to repeat this step as necessary. When you look at a completed section, you will notice that the parts of your car that haven't been polished will almost look gray in comparison.

The next question is how often do you wax. I think that depends on where you live and how well your paint is holding up to the swirl marks. I live in the Pacific NW and with all of the rain we get here I have to wax 2-3 times a year to keep the swirl marks out of my paint. You WILL always have swirl marks in your paint, its just a matter of how many swirl marks you can tolerate before you feel you ned to polish/wax again. I believe using the detail product after you wash your car will lengthen the amount of time between required waxings. This is based on a couple years experience of just washing/drying and a couple years of using the detailer after every wash.