no way you could go thru 2 pairs in 3 years. Defective Bil's are rare enough, what type of springs are you using? Were they stocks cut too short or were the "supplementary springs",(the rubber bumpstops on the piston shaft) removed? if so, the shock(s) could be bottoming out and being damaged, Bilstiens have a lifetime warranty(except N.Y. due to horrible pothole situation). My Bilstien HD's have 200k miles and haven't gotten any softer even though they go thru hell so I think it's something on your end.