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True story - don't feel bad Gordon. (archive)

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Posted by John Morrison on August 03, 2001 at 10:21:25:

In Reply to: "Ugly BMW owner" (way too long) posted by Gordon on August 03, 2001 at 09:18:06:

Gordon, although one must try to be pleasant at all times (yeah right)...I would comment that the sprinkler problem is bad out here in BC too. Why they can't adjust the system not to water the pavement is beyond me.

In any case, about two years ago north of my house on the island, a couple were driving home on a secondary road past a sod-farm at a "brisk" pace in a 911. The road immediately in front of a sharp corner was being soaked by a rotating sprinkler head from the sod-farm. When the driver hit the brakes to make the corner, he lost the rear end and went passenger-side first into the stump of an old chestnut tree (it's still there). His wife was killed instantly and he was sent to hospital with neck injuries.

The newspaper commented on his excessive speed and "road conditions" as being the cause. Yeah right...road conditions...5pm on a hot summer day with nary a cloud in the sky...oh yeah..and a f^&*ing sprinkler hosing down the pavement every 5 minutes or so...

Well, it has happened. I vacuumed, washed, chamoied (?) my car...even did those #5 wheels with my new "magic" brush and Mcguirres "Hot Wheels". It was perfect. The Bronzitbeige looked like deep shiny butterscotch pudding, I am a happy camper...
So I'm driving back from the dealers after buying 5 little side molding clips (.45 ea...) (love to drive in to the lot and park beside a new E39...) So I'm coming home on this great little twisty Lakeshore road through the orchards and vineyards of the Niagara Peninsula, CD changer playing my favourite music.
I notice a damp spot on the road...about 50' long up ahead... and I slow down so as not to splash any crud on my newly painted rocker panels, when suddenly there is this big "whooosh" and my car is dumped on by about 8000 gallons of sprayed water... one of the vineyards has this sprinkling system that rotates every minute or two and I didn't see the "flume"... So there I am with a car covered in huge water drops...all beginning to evaporate and ready to leave those ugly little dirt spots all over everything...arrrghhhh.
I pull into the Winery and see a guy in a suit walking into the building... I pull up and power down my window... he looks at me ...and looks at the car and thinks..."ahhhh, going to sell a few cases of big time wine here".... and says "Hey, good you doing today?"...... and I say "Well, I was fucking fine until your God damned sprinkling system ruined my $100.00 fucking detailing job!!!!!!!!"(hey, lying is not below me). Talk about a double take... "ummm, ahhhh, maybe I should get a rag and wipe it off" he says...." Yeah, right.... dont' bother, just adjust your mother (expletive deleted) watering system, Bloody asshole wineries" I say.... Ok... so I drove off and left him red faced and blubbering apologies...and then I thought about it.... yep... I've turned into one of those haven't I ?????? Oh woe is me.... now I have to buy a leisure suit and yell at people all the time, and say things like "watch the car buddy", and "of course its high test, twit"!
Guess I'm going to have to drive the E30 for a week or so......

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