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Quad-VANOS (archive)
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Posted by UMNinja on May 07, 2000 at 23:32:30:

You heard it here first! BMW will implement Quad-VANOS on the E46 ///M3. This highly experimental system varies the dimensions of space and time, in addition to intake and exhaust valve timing.

Enthusiasts reacted rabidly to the added 100 lbs of the two new VANOSes, but soon realized that the 3% weight gain was offset by the ability to travel to any point in space and time in the universe.

BMW engineers are at a loss for their traditionally conservative acceleration and handling benchmarks, as they will no longer be governed by petty issues such as mass, power, gearing, suspension, chassis rigidity, or anything to do with the car at all.

Any thoughts on the matter? As an ///M enthusiast, I think this really elevates BMW to the next level in performance engineering.

In case my sarcasm hasn't tipped you off, this post is an illustration of HOW STUPID this message board has become over the last week. I realize that I'm part of the problem right now. But I'm trying to make the point that the number of stupid, inane, and immature posts has reached the level where this board isn't worth visiting anymore, until the new ///M3 is actually terrorizing the streets of North America.

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