I can't see why a dealer would let you put a refundable deposit down anyway. That means he is forced to be commited to the deal and you are not. If you can get your money back and there is no commitment on your part, why not! I'd say you've put your money down for a chance to get an X5 at the dealer's price to-be-determined upon delivery, and that you really have no deal at all. I think your deposit is a place holder on a car, not an agreement to purchase. I see no ethical problem in your changing your mind or a price you agree to pay. He can back out, and you can back out if you change the "deal" -- or whatever understanding or agreement you have now.