Seattle Z3 goes down in flames (archive)

If I had known that a simple keychain was all I needed to have wonderful women flying across the country, I wouldn�t have bought the whole car. Ok, well maybe I would have anyway. I do now promise Rachel one regulation-sized BMW keychain that will be engraved with some cute something that will bring tears of joy to her eyes every time she reads it.

Unfortunately, it will not be the phone number of that waitress, because I don�t have that. I don�t even know her name. You know how sometimes you look at someone and are just stunned by how incredibly beautiful they are? I feel confident that not everyone would feel the same way, but I would have walked a mile in tight shoes for her had she only asked. Which she didn�t.

I should have known I was doomed when the first words out of her mouth were �who has the red Porsche? It�s my dream car!� Hey, we all have our faults. Anyway, I wrote her a pretty damn sweet note, if I do say so myself, left in on the table, and walked out to my car. Rachel, working independently and much more directly, just told the woman we would be back at 2:30 to pick her up. Note to self � direct approach seems effective.

So at 2:00, while everyone else was up at Lake Whatcom, I peeled off toward Alger and drove like a bat out of hell. As I sped off, I heard fading Z3 chatter on the talkabout to the effect that they didn�t think they would ever see me again. I was determined to pick up the woman of my dreams, hook back up with the gang in Arlington, and spend the afternoon talking to her at 60-80 mph.

She had other plans. She said that she wanted to go but that she had to work. Personally, I didn�t buy it, but god bless her for saying something plausible and kind.

Note to self � direct approach appears to be seriously and fundamentally flawed.

However, in times like these, one must remember the wise words of Mark Twain:

�The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of graceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.�

Or, if that�s too deep for you, he also said

�Lie--an abomination before the Lord and an ever present help in time of trouble�.

Both will work.

So I didn�t ask questions. I thanked her (for what, I don�t know, but I was kind of scrambling for something to say) and told her that I would see her next time.

And then I was heading off to a party on Lummi Island when everyone else showed up at the place to see if I had really come to get the waitress. I had, of course, with somewhat less than complete success. Rachel, sensing no doubt that my ego was not in midseason form says �you know what it is � she likes the Porsche better!� That�s it! My plan to pick her up was flawless! And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren�t for you meddling kids!

It was a great drive (chuckanut three times that day for me!) with a great gang of regulars and of course it was a real treat to meet Rachel. I�m so sorry that I didn�t get to meet that State Trooper � maybe next time!

See you all soon � and the keychain will be delivered to Homecoming! I�ll maybe be there next year�

Mark B
Alpine 3.0

Follow Ups:

Swing... and a miss. Wade 23:54 8/12/2001 (0)

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